Fire and Ice

What makes two people click? If there were a simple answer to that question, the dreaded search for Mr. Right would be null and void, wouldn’t it? I certainly don’t claim to be an expert on relationships. Far from it. But God has laid this on my heart, so I thought I would share.

Many insist that opposites attract, which would explain my husband and I. We’re different in many ways, a fact that was proven once again in a conversation we had a few days ago.

Our son asked us, “If you could have an ice launcher or a fire launcher, which one would you want?”

I said “fire.” My husband said “ice.”

And thus begins a myriad of examples, most of which are significantly more relevant than this one.

My husband likes to plan far in advance. He had every aspect of retirement figured out by the ripe old age of 25. I like spontaneous road trips and typically have no idea what I’ll be doing two hours from now. My husband likes the Food Network and the Discovery Channel. I like…um…to read. My husband prefers to keep his feet on solid ground. I love skydiving. The list goes on and on…

Most of us agree that the true measure of compatibility is our view points on the significant issues, as well as our life goals. Do we want kids? Do we both want a career? What aspects of ministry do we want to be involved in?

I have concluded that in our relationship (although all relationships are as different as the individuals that comprise them,) that when we agree on life’s most important decisions, all the pieces come together. It’s almost like someone planned it that way….

Which brings me to my next point. Even the most compatible couple will fail if they refuse to work at the relationship.

Compatibility isn’t a list of comparable personality traits. It’s about give and take. It’s about thanking God continually for bringing you together in the first place.

It’s never easy. Fire melts ice. Ice, when melted, quenches fire. Our relationships often mirror these facts as we focus on ourselves, as we refuse to see our partner’s point of view, and as we turn to other sources of comfort during trials.

After all, we’re human. But at some point, we choose to evaluate our priorities. When we do this, we realize that person we have agreed to spend our life with is worth every moment we decide to put them first. Because in the end, that’s what will make two people work: choosing every day to love that person unconditionally, unselfishly, and unequivocally. Because that’s how God loves us.